10 Monsters I Never Want to See

2009 February 27
by Stupid Ranger

Several of the DMs out there have posted their top 10 favorite D&D monsters (check out RPGBloggers to read them all).  Here’s my list, but slightly twisted.  As a player, here are my top 10 I-Never-Want-to-See Monsters:

1. Doppelgangers – Imagine meeting up with your good friend, whom you haven’t seen for a long time.  Then, all of a sudden and with no provocation, your friend tries to kill you.  Yeah, see, that’s why no one likes to meet a doppelganger.
2. Owlbears – Not the cute, cuddly creatures their name implies, these vicious killers are annoying.  Mostly, because after the battle, you have to hunt down their nest in order to find any treasure they may have.
3. The Tarrasque – Legendary creatures of all kinds are going to guarantee a moment of panic, but the Tarrasque, well, let’s just say if you’ve never adventured with Batloaf, you can’t truly understand the panic I feel meeting this monster.
4. Beholders – I think most players feel the same about this one.  Beholders are just no fun, and it can be summed up with two simple words: eye rays.  Can you think of a more terrifying combination of words in all D&D-dom?
5. Drow – I really, really hate to encounter any Drow.  Ever.  My very first character was an elf, who had the misfortune to encounter Drow.  Let’s just say the resulting drama has left me with a crippling fear of dark places and a burning hatred for dark elves.  Also, they worship Lolth.  Ew.
6. Giant Spiders – Webs and Poisons and Lolth (again), oh my.
7. Liches – Creepy guys to begin with, and usually bent not only on ruling the world but also on destroying all adventurers, liches just don’t spell “party,” no matter where you find them.  They could be wearing silly hats and singing karaoke, and they still wouldn’t want to have cake and ice cream with them.  Plus, who really needs a phylactery anyway?
8. Banshees – Anything with a “save vs death” is right out; banshees are just my representative of all things death-ly.
9. Hill Giants – Synonymous with “flying boulders,” hill giants encounters are generally painful.  And unless you have a lot of ranged attacks in your group, you’re going to be taking a lot of damage before you ever get close enough to inflict some of your own.  Ouch!
10. The Vorpal Rabbit – Perhaps the most terrifying of all woodland creatures, the vorpal bunny, who can take your head right off your shoulders before you can blink, is a blood-thirsty tyrant.  Like its estranged cousin, the Tarrasque, there is, fortunately, only one.  We had the un-pleasure of meeting it along the road once upon a time, and our good friend, Swun, didn’t survive the encounter well.  So don’t let those floppy ears and innocent eyes fool you… that rabbit is dynamite!
One Response leave one →
  1. Samuel Van Der Wall permalink
    February 28, 2009

    Dopplegangers are the worst. In Palladium you could actually play Changlings which was crazy, in my opinion. There were so many times players in my group were a Changling and they hid it from others in the group. It also leaves the possibility open at any time for a GM to just say, “That not him, it’s a copy of him.”

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