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Stupid Ranger

I’m not a flashy person. In a room full of other people, I would not be the first person you noticed; I probably wouldn’t even rate in the top 10. I’m the quiet person sitting in the corner. But I’m also that person who knows the random, obscure fact that eludes everyone else. And I enjoy being the person to whom everyone turns when they need an answer.

And that’s the kind of character I play most every time. I’m the one who keeps the level head in disastrous times. Sometimes, as a bard with the ability to Inspire Courage and Cure various Wounds. Sometimes as a fighter-type, usually with ranged weapons, who ensures that people live despite the best efforts of the evils. Sometimes, I figure out the mental challenges that stump everyone else. Oh, and of course, I’m the rules lawyer, so I can offer advice on how to best approach something or when someone gets an attack of opportunity.

Stupid Ranger was a character that managed to keep the party alive through multiple encounters when everyone else fell in battle. Skythorn, for that was her chosen name, was an elven ranger who was very talented with her longbow. Chaotic elements of her party started calling her “Stupid Ranger” after she opened a letter and inadvertently triggered a geas. After several weeks of trying to save the world from eternal darkness (and break the geas), “Stupid Ranger” became less of an epithet and more of a nickname. To date, it is one of my favorite campaigns with one of my favorite characters.

I may not have played every class or every race, but I’ve always had fun with whatever character I’ve played. And because I can’t do anything by halves, I’ve always committed myself to learn everything I can about the classes and races I’ve played, which is where I have developed my rules lawyering skills. All in all, I possess a lot of knowledge… mostly useless in every day life but fabulously valuable when celebrating the Search check I made to find my husband’s car keys.



There are many things that could be said about Vanir.

He is the sort of man who makes jokes about failing one’s DEX check during meetings at work, and has openly wondered aloud about his own armor class in front of his own grandmother. Despite this, he has still managed to somehow become married to the lovely Efreak. When playing D&D, Vanir has become bored with the standard dungeon crawl. He feels that, despite the fact that so many people play role-playing games, most overlook the whole “role-playing” part. Vanir is also a sugar-fueled madman. Thusly, his characters have, in recent years, become somewhat unusual. His favorite of these, Lumbar, is featured prominently in the Evensbrook comic (which you should read immediately or face the unbridled fury of Rathgar). Vanir is directly responsible for no fewer than eight seperate aneurisms in Dante’s brain.

When he is not being a dire pain in Dante’s ass, Vanir is a professional perl hacker. He also enjoys video games, karate, drawing comics, and rollerskating in the rain.



Dante has the dubious pleasure of being the Dungeon Master for this motley crew. He prefers dire situations, big bad creatures, and lots of roleplay. In his leisure time, he actually enjoys Java development, honing his karate skills by beating on his dojomate Vanir, watching Futurama, and arguing with passerbys about the proper proximity to stand to a person when conversing.

Also, if you are a GM that prefers railroading your characters, watch out. He may strike you.


Efreak is the cleric to all our fighters, the unsung hero of the group, and a constant source of inspiration. Though she doesn’t play D&D with us anymore, she still fully supports our chosen madness (and snickers at all the jokes). Vanir believes she has the highest Charisma score in the whole world, which is probably for the best since they are married. Unfortunately, fearing her soul would be stolen by the camera, she declined to have her picture taken.

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