Advice for the Fighters Out There

2008 May 20
by Stupid Ranger

Dear Fighting Friends –

After recent experience with some Very Nasty Things, I write to encourage you to please do something to ward your mind against attacks. Sure, the shiny armor protects the skins, but what safeguards have you employed to protect your mind? Herein I’ll share with you the story of the Very Nasty Things, that through my tale of suffering you might better understand the dangers against which you must guard your mind.

In the deep, dark caverns below Castle Perilous, we disturbed the subterranean pond of two skeleton-like shrieking creatures. As I was distracted by my battle with the animated statue, my mind was suddenly assaulted by a horrible shrieking sound from the skeletons. I could no longer hear the sounds of battle around me as the shriek reverberated in my head.

The statue was quickly defeated, but the skeletons were continuing their attack against my mind. Then, before I knew what was happening to me, I was compelled to attack the nearest person, which was not a troublesome skeleton, but our good cleric. I don’t know what came over me, but I could not stop my attack against him, though I knew he was not an enemy.

The battle ended in a blur of activity, most of which I was unaware. I continued my uncontrollable attack against the cleric, then I lost the ability to communication sensibly and babbled incessantly. Before I knew what had happened, I found the cleric dead at my feet, and I couldn’t even explain to the rest of the group why I had killed him. The compulsion ended, but the emotional scars will take a great deal of time to heal.

So, my friends, find some means to protect your mind before the Very Nasty Things take it over and force you to commit unspeakable acts. I can’t actually tell you what to do, mostly because I haven’t recovered the ability to speak, but please read this letter and heed its contents before it’s too late!



4 Responses leave one →
  1. Noumenon permalink
    May 21, 2008

    Get a tinfoil helmet? Of course the AC won’t be very good.

  2. Puck permalink
    May 21, 2008

    Yeah, my last group had a lot of problems with this as well. Our PCs were a bard, a rogue, a ranger (my char), a sorcerer, and an eldrich knight.. and our DM -loved- to cast mind-effecting spells at us (most notably Confusion, with which, i think, you are familiar).
    being the front-line fighter of the party (and with a strength of 34) i actually succeeded in killing our party members on more than one occasion due to that accursed spell.
    there is some kind of gem that you can buy that allows you to re-roll a will save, but it’s prohibitively expensive. my character eventually went with a Cloak of Protection +5, which is cheaper than the gem and helps with your other two saves. it didn’t give him an advantage, per se, but it did even out the odds a bit

  3. Vanir permalink
    May 21, 2008

    I personally think these undead creatures were just using some sort of sonic alcohol, where your inhibitions get lowered to the point where you do what you really want. (This would explain why neither member of the Loaf clan failed their save.)

    I think at this point in the campaign everybody in our group knows Stupid Ranger is really just a serial killer at heart who has a thing for offing her teammates. Though she tries to fight these homicidal urges, the intoxicating effects of these alcoholic screams drove her to roleplay her darkest desires.

    She’s really just a victim here. Not this poor cleric. Or our other cleric, who died in a tragic Flame Strike accident. Or the 1d4 party members that got exploded when she decided to see what happens when you put a Bozak draconian in a Cuisinart.

  4. Stupid Ranger permalink
    May 21, 2008

    Puck – The Clock of Protection would be a good idea… I hadn’t thought of that, and I don’t think Ari has a cloak.

    Vanir – You be nice, or I’ll make sure Ari is standing next to you last time! Mwahahahahaha…. *cough* I mean, I’m innocent here!

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