Some Things are Inevitable

2008 April 8
by Stupid Ranger

With my crazy work schedule right now, the creativity has been sucked out of my brain. So, I’ve been going back through my archives to find stuff that I intended to post and never finished.

Sometime last year, Yax posted a list of things which are inevitable. Here’s my list of additional laws:

  1. The DM will unveil a significant plot hook at the end of the night when everyone has had too much sugar/caffeine to have sufficient attention span to retain said important plot elements.
  2. The DM will roll dice for no reason.
  3. The wizard will either die early in the epic battle, or he will outlive everyone else and take down the Big Bad with a 1st Level spell.
  4. When characters have money to spend, they won’t be in a town with a sufficient marketplace to find what they want to buy. When they are in a town with a good market, they won’t have money to spend.
  5. When you really need to roll well, your dice will betray you.
  6. When players choose to cooperate with the DM and follow what they assume is the expected path, it will never be the path the DM wanted them to take.
  7. The one time the party doesn’t have a rogue is the one time they need one.
  8. Ditto for a cleric.
  9. When you finally find some awesome treasure, it will either be: a) useless to everyone in the party, like a cloak only usable by an outsider, or b) cursed, but no one in the party has a Remove Curse spell.
  10. You will stumble across undead when no one has any undead-appropriate spells memorized. (This may be related to #8).
  11. After you have finished equipping the party with mounts, you will suddenly be required to travel by sea on a boat that cannot accommodate your horses.
  12. The one time it would be useful to have a bird scout ahead, the ranger will forget s/he has an owl for an animal companion.
3 Responses leave one →
  1. Anonymous permalink
    April 9, 2008

    adding a caveat onto number 10:
    When playing a high-seas swashbuckling campaign, you will still end up fighting skeletons who only take half damage from your piercing and slashing weapons

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