A Post About Nothing

2007 November 13
by Vanir

I’ve been suffering from a bit of writer’s block lately. Tonight I decided just to sit down, turn my random idea generator on, and see what happened. I was not quite expecting what came out.

I don’t see how I possibly could have — because what came out was “the Gauntlets of Seinfeld“. I wasn’t even really crazy about that show when it was on! Regardless, I started to chuckle at a few of the ideas that started trickling out so I decided to share. I didn’t quite get to the descriptions of a lot of these, so if you want to add something, please feel free.

  • Gauntlets of Seinfeld

    Ordinary gauntlets that do absolutely nothing. However, everyone loves them and they were highly sought after until 10 years ago when the maker just got bored and decided to quit making them.

    The right gauntlet has strange frizzy hair covering the opening where the arm goes in. And has racial epithets about dwarves written on it. These were intended to be funny due to their shock value, but everyone near the wearer simply thinks they hate dwarves.

    Both gauntlets have special attachments for removing the tops from muffins.

    You cannot figure out why the left gauntlet continues to hang out with the right gauntlet.

  • Girdle of Soup Nazi Strength
  • The Eye and Hand of Seinfeld
  • Festivus Pole of Many Parts
  • Loincloth of Protection vs. Shrinkage

I believe the line of good taste has been sufficiently identified, crossed, and stomped on at this point. And no, Stupid Ranger, no E.L. Fudge cookies were harmed in the making of this post.

More “serious” D&D stuff in the near future, I promise!

One Response leave one →
  1. ChattyDM permalink
    November 14, 2007

    Also from the same Syand-up Wizard:

    The Crown of Idiots

    The Master-Keys of the Domain

    The Shower-Head of Doom

    The Chesterfield of Dwarven Rest


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