WARNING: This post may contain some details about the Kincep Mansion module, but I will try to keep it spoiler-free.  You’ve been warned.

Always coordinate with healthy natural plant life

Our D&D crew has recently began exploring Kincep Mansion, a lovely example of Victorian era fantasy architectures that has fallen into sad disrepair.  Unfortunately, the Kincep mansion has been beset by some less than desirable feng-shui in recent years, best seen to be believed.  They did get one thing right: cultivating a healthy and extensive garden.

During our last session, Stupid Ranger’s character was exploring the grounds and smartly taking the circuitous path to survey the property.  Upon reaching the back of the mansion, I described the garden as described in the module and then she started asking questions.  “Is it a kitchen garden?” she asked.  My first thought (and statement): “WTF is a kitchen garden?”

It seems that this fairly obvious detail was overlooked on the Kincep Mansion fact sheet, so I had to stammer around a bit and decide what type of plants actually comprised the overgrown garden.  Everyone also had a good laugh at my lack of skill at herbology.  The main takeaway here: read through the module and ask yourself “what possible follow-up questions can the players have in this situation?” and make up some stock answers.

An informed interior designer is a happy interior designer

Once again, Stupid Ranger’s character was my downfall.  This time they were cautiously edging closer to the stable area of the map.  They didn’t like the looks of the run-down architecture and overgrown surroundings (always hire a gardener before you want to sell a property!) so Stupid Ranger’s bard wanted to know if she’d heard any stories that would tell about the interior of the mansion and whether or not the stables connected to the main house.  This was not apparent from the outside of the building, so it was a long-shot and by this point in the session I was rather exasperated at the strange details that I had to make up on the fly.

Of course, Stupid Ranger rolled a natural 20.

That meant I had to make up a story about Euphegenia Kincep, the impetuous daughter of the mansion’s owners who enraged her conservative father by sneaking out the Main Hall via the east entrance to the stables with her beau.  A ruined chastity belt later and the story is the stuff of local legends.  Of course, the group wanted to know if they ended up in the stall or the hayloft and a variety of other questions best left for impolite company.

The moral of this story: let your characters use their skills, and be prepared to pull some impromptu tales of lore out of your hindquarters.  This particular situation was stressful for me as the GM, but the result not only fit well into the plot but the group LOVED it.

Be prepared to dive deep into the interior design of your dungeon because you will end up with a richer experience as a result.  Let’s hear some stories of dungeon detailing from you, gentle reader!  Until next time!

My good buddy Vanir and I have been knocking around some conceptual ideas about how this whole thing will unfold, and I can tell you with no level of uncertainty that I am certain it will be his finest sugar-fueled hour. Adding in the (internet) star-studded guest list will only amplify the insanity.

Vanir conjectured that he wouldn’t be singing, but I might. What he says is true, because in reality I am a Level 20 30 NecroBard that can accomplish a bardic music version of Finger of Death. Hearing protection might be advisable if you’re showing up to this thing. Also, men might want to wear a cup.

With the intrepid panel of bloggers providing two deluxe red dragons, disembodied egos, and iocane powder I have no idea what’s going to happen but I do know one thing: I can keep up the funny ALL NIGHT LONG, so if this event spills out into some stench filled corner of the convention center after our hour is up, so be it.

And just like at Hickman’s Killer Breakfast, gifts and tribute won’t get you anywhere, but they will certainly cause something to happen. A briefcase of cash may get you on the panel briefly. Just sayin’.

One more thing (oh Lord, I’m turning into Jobs somehow)… there MAY be one or two other event announcements coming soon that you all should be aware of… but they will come later. Watch this space, there may be hints on how to make the most out of this event as the summer unfolds.

Our group of epic adventurers showed the terrible dracolich what death tasted like, however as the rest of the evil armies pressed in on them they called upon an unexpected (to Kanati and I) escape route. They had earned a favor from a particularly old Gold Dragon, and they called on him to provide an expeditious retreat from the invading forces.

After Kanati and I had finished soiling ourselves, we determined that an evil horde of this magnitude would maintain the services of a black dragon. This led us to a utterly fantastic aerial battle that would’ve never happened if not for working on your spontaneous recovery skills.

There are two takeaways from the above scenario:

1. Take good notes regarding what favors your characters are owed, or what non-standard magical items they have at their disposal. This is more important if you have infrequent gaming sessions like we do. It will prevent the unexpected “oh crap” moment, and that undetermined loss of a few seconds of life as your heart tries to leap out your neck.

2. When the unexpected happens, try to recover in the most elegant way possible. Commit to your approach and go with it, often if you keep the action up the group will be less likely to question whether or not the evil horde had a black dragon before they realized they could summon their gold one.

Hopefully we will continue getting better as we chase this campaign into the barn, expect more soon!

Seinfeld was never my favorite show in the universe, but I did watch it now and then and it did get me thinking a little this morning — rarely a character shows up on that show that isn’t put under a microscope and all their weird little idiosyncrasies examined in detail (and usually poked with a cattle prod, causing hilarity to ensue). I like it when D&D characters enjoy that same kind of character development. I frequently like it much more than I do the main plot of the story, which I’m sure is the source of at least six or seven aneurysms in Dante and the other DMs I’ve played with.

To wit: my favorite sessions are usually the first two or three, when the crap hasn’t hit the fan yet and we’re getting to know everyone, followed closely by the “break” sessions in the story where we usually follow one character’s personal story (which may or may not be woven into the main story). But barring those weird times when we’re all arguing about which direction to go because we can’t figure out the clues laid before us, those sessions where we’re not doing anything particularly “useful” per se are what I really look forward to, especially with a new character to play.

Making a character that has some strange personal idiosyncrasies, in addition to making everyday roleplay with your character more interesting, may have an impact on everyone’s lives (good or bad!) in much the same way that the folks on Seinfeld frequently have misadventures because they’re really freaking neurotic. I mean, they devoted half an episode to Kramer trying to defend himself from deadly birthday wishes. And I was enraptured.

I’m a believer in that the small stuff can be every bit as interesting as the epic. Characters should be more than a bunch of combat stat blocks! The difficulty, of course, is that as you get higher in level, the monsters you fight are optimized to be a challenge to people who are prepared to fight them. On several occasions (but especially with Bat Loaf), I’ve picked spells and items that weren’t particularly combat-friendly and it cost me. It’s just a fact of life that the vast, vast majority of D&D campaigns revolve around stuff killing other stuff and you need to keep that in mind before you go too overboard. If you don’t, you’ll quickly find yourself frustrated week after week.

But don’t abandon the fact that you have a character to play. DM’s — let them! And try not to dogpile in the end battle on the guy that picked Percussion to give a little atmosphere to his nightly trysts with the barmaids. Dante.

True Dungeon: The LARP Grey Market

I have had the good fortune to play most (if not all) of the incarnations of True Dungeon over the years. Often, when I discuss the topic of LARPing Vanir readily points out this fact to me and tries to make the argument that True Dungeon is essentially normalized LARPing for the masses.

I respectfully choose to disagree with my good friend on this point, and here’s why. LARPing, by its very definition requires some aspect of roleplaying. Hopefully those of you that have been through True Dungeon can back me up on this point; there is little to no actual roleplaying taking place within the Marriott Ballroom walls by the players.

The non-player staff does a pretty good job of roleplaying, but due to time constraints roleplaying is usually a luxury that dies the moment the sounding carillon chimes to usher you down to the Pits of Doom. Do you get to act out character roles? Yes, but there is a distinct difference between this and actual roleplaying. Actual roleplaying would dictate that you have given your assigned character a background, personality, and motivation… none of this exists in the incarnations of True Dungeon that I have played.

The closest you get to any real personality for the players is when the bard of the group is forced to sing in order to maintain their bardsong effects, and strains of off-key (sorry SR) “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” doesn’t qualify in the range of effective roleplay.

Why I classified this a Grey Market

When you buy your True Dungeon ticket, you are purchasing a dungeon crawling experience. The tavern that they make available and the in-character staff that serves drinks, provides orientation, and adds flavor is very adept at evoking the feeling of Greyhawk and in some cases are very good at playing the roles that they have been assigned (or created, I don’t know how that works).

This makes it a very realistic D&D style experience, and honestly its why I love True Dungeon. I love the look and feel of actually being within a game, as if I am a life sized miniature with stats (please, withhold jokes there guys). It’s like being on the edge of LARPing with a set of opera glasses watching the show, but with this show audience participation in the midst of the Dungeon isn’t possible.

To me, its an in-between experience for us pencil and paper roleplayers and the world of LARP.

Disclaimer: I have never LARPed before. It frightens me, and I apologize in advance if you are offended by the following.

Those of you that know me or have been paying even the slightest bit of attention to some of my posts know that I enjoy high quality props (both relating to films and relating to my campaigns). Unfortunately, the examples of craftsmanship in costuming and propwork have run the range from hilarious to extremely unsettling (most seem to be executed using Wal-Mart bargain rack fabric in roughly 36 minutes). That, and the penchant for tights and ill-fitting bosom supporting devices is intolerable, and don’t lie to me and tell me you don’t wear them, I’ve seen them with my own eyes at GenCon!

Heavan help you if you actually stop to ask someone who LARPs what the giant sword that they are carrying is supposed to be, or what (incorrectly assumed movie) character they are dressed as… because you’re going to get a dissertation on the providence of said item that the person or someone they knew made up and nobody else knows about. This is usually followed by the Nerd Sound, usually a “nyahh” vocalization to indicate extreme satisfaction. I make it too (about other topics), so I’m not throwing stones… simply pointing out a fact. That sound is often used as punctuation when fulfilling ones nerdly genetic imperative.

I tend to lump LARPing in the upper echelon of what society assumes when it thinks of roleplaying “nerds.” It is clearly within my personality to be mortally embarrassed if I was ever photographed LARPing and said photos were shown to my family/coworkers/dog. It is simply past my threshold of acceptable levels of nerding out.

That being said…

The rest of my disdainful perspective comes from ignorance. If there are any LARPers in our midst, I would love a few words about why you love your hobby and if it can be related to a classic roleplaying experience I would love to understand your point of view more.

Many stories exist on the Internet regarding LARPing and some of the unique characters (both real-world and created) that have existed in this genre, and I am curious what segment of our readership have experienced this type of roleplaying first hand.

Educate me! Share your stories!

If you agree with my general perspective, lets hear from you too!

(NOTE: I would prefer this not become an “is True Dungeon LARPing” thread. We will save *that* topic for later on this week.)

Filmstalker reports that they intend to remake this movie, with some of the original cast returning but they don’t say who… either way, I am not optimistic.

What’s this got to do with gaming, Dante?

Well… on the surface, not much. However, once I started exploring why I was upset about this news I started thinking about a few things relating to gaming. Several members of our group were present during one of our more successful campaigns, and many times since then I have been tempted to do an additional chapter… a new campaign with some of our old favorite characters.

Whenever I bring up this topic among those players, it usually meets with mixed results. Sometimes they are excited about the prospect of revisiting their old characters and taking them on new adventures. I think this same motivation forces movie execs to think that this type of film remake is a good idea… on the rare occasions where its not all about the money, I am sure that it is done out of a desire to take these (sometimes) classic characters out for another spin.

Vanir often plays the counterpoint that things are never as good the second time around. I have to believe that this sentiment is true in most of the cases… it can never be as good the second time around, film remakes involving good chemistry and great characters often fall flat, and things like this are never a good idea.

But the notion sure is fun. There’s a certain part of me that really hopes Hollywood comes to its senses before they go all Planet of the Apes on this thing, but I’m fairly certain they won’t. Oh well, chalk another up to economics. *sigh*

Their support analysts have assured us that they are looking into ways to prevent this type of outage in the future. Thankfully, I was able to put together the extra meaty post that I posted this morning to make up for the outage, I hope everyone enjoys that!

Paradise By The Continual Light

In the last campaign I played in (and that Dante and Kanati are continuing), I played a kickass bardic rock star named Bat Loaf. His stats, skills, and spells were not really set up for combat. He was a lover, not a fighter. I mean that in a very literal sense. In every town, he was hooking up with every hot barmaid he could find. I would add that we never got too far into roleplaying the details of these encounters — because, well, EWW. Suffice it to say that the process was abstracted into a series of Perform checks. Heh heh.

My bard’s love life is a tale for another time. What I will talk about, however, is how you can produce some very powerful results out of seemingly nothing if you just use your imagination. Being the lecherous dog that he is, Bat Loaf had a veritable arsenal of spells designed to aid him in his chosen lifestyle, including:

• Feather Fall – Let’s suppose that Bat’s current bedmate sleeps on the second floor, and her husband walks in. There will be no hastily-constructed bedsheet rope and probable falling damage for this bard! He will float gently to the ground and hope he remembered all his clothes.
• Percussion – Used during concerts…. and for mood music after the concert!
• Easy Math – Used to quickly count the proceeds from his concerts, because he was always running away from someone due to his after-concert escapades.
• Ventriloquism, Minor Image, and Ghost Sound – great for stage effects – and for convincing distractions when he needed to flee a lover’s room in a hurry.
• Contraception – Surprisingly, the only spell I chose from the Book of Erotic Fantasy for Bat Loaf. He was, if nothing else, very practical in these matters. I’d have taken Remove Disease too, but it was not available to bards — so he found himself at the temple a couple times begging for forgiveness and relief from burning sensations.

By now you may be wondering what all this has to do with getting “powerful results”. Watch and learn.

Lost Boys and Gladiatorial Girls

One night, our party came to a village and Bat immediately set about his usual business of getting loaded on ale and taking the hottest woman he could find to take to his room in the local inn. The paladin of the party always spent the night in a local temple, cleaning everything to atone for his sins. It was at this time that our illustrious GMs decided to have the party captured and taken off to fight in some secret gladiatorial games run by an organized crime syndicate. Problem was, they just got everybody in the tavern at the inn – not Bat or the paladin. So, one GM went upstairs with the captured players, and it was up to Bat and the paladin to launch a rescue mission!

Once we found the place (it was secret, after all), we started talking to the people there. We weren’t getting a whole lot of answers because most were just there to bet on the games, but one guy told us the city guard shows up and runs everybody off sometimes. The place was heavily guarded and had wards against spells, so here I am thinking this is the clue to freeing my comrades — I have to make the bad guys think the city guard is coming so they all run away!

I don’t exactly remember what Plan A was for accomplishing this. I do remember it resulted in a big mess where I was confused about where the guards (who helped enforce the no-spellcasting rules) were relative to Bat and it ended up with him getting killed with a battleaxe after he cast a spell. Fifteen minutes of argument later, the GMs and I had successfully made our Craft(Compromise) check and they used their godlike powers to reset time to right before Bat cast his spell. In this new and improved timeline, I metagamed slightly and knew the guards would totally kill Bat with a battleaxe if he cast a spell inside the arena. (It’s just common sense, after all.)

Thusly, Plan B was born!

Rock and Roll Dreams Come Through

Bat went outside the arena, rolled around in the dirt a little bit and messed up his hair and clothes, and pretended to collapse at the feet of one of the guards outside the arena gates. But not before wheezing “the city guards…. they’re coming… RUN!!…..”. The guard didn’t so much believe him, which I found a little strange, but I went with it anyway. Not to be stopped, he crawled off and hid behind a nearby tree. Then he cast Ghost Sound. At Bat’s level, he could create as much noise at twenty normal human could with the spell, which was perfect for a believable city guard facsimile. Definitely enough to convince a gate guard that the sounds of angry soldiers coming over the ridge were very much the real deal – especially with Bat now screaming and running toward him yelling “I TOLD YOU!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!”

Everybody at the arena had a protocol for when the city guard showed up – they dropped everything and ran like hell. And so it was a fairly simple matter to free our friends, because they were still locked up in the fighters’ quarters near the ring and there was nobody guarding them anymore. A few monster encounters later and a ton of looting and we were on our way. We figured out the puzzle and won the day! Right?

Well, as it turns out, Dante and Kanati had an entirely different night planned for us. The captured PCs would get to fight and show off their skills in the ring, and exciting monster battles, lots of cool stuff. And it also so happened that they had a very special encounter planned in case of emergency to give the PCs a way to get free — the owners of the arena, knowing that the standard protocol when the city guard showed up was to drop everything and run like hell, would hire some mercenaries to pose as the city guard, not even telling their employees the truth. And then they’d pocket all the money people had placed as bets. All this was to have been revealed to us at the end if we’d talked to the right NPCs. But instead, my 0 level spell brought everything crashing to the ground, and we ended three hours earlier than we usually do.

This story has been clinically proven to stop “power gamers” dead in their tracks, and I have learned no fewer than three new four-letter words since it happened. This, my friends, is the power of roleplaying!

Use it wisely.